If I wanted someone to play my mother and slap my wrist every time I did something wrong and tell me how disappointed they were in me, then I would have told my mother.  I don't get a speech from the people who have known me from the beginning, the people who have known me for years and have seen me change, the people who have supported me through everything.  I get a speech from a person who has known me for less than a year, who tells me that I'm not the same person they first met and how much of a letdown I am, the person who doesn't like all of my other friends that have been there.  I don't need an explanation for this post.

The moral of this story is that I have come to the startling *cough* realization that you don't give a shit about me.  You never have, and I can promise you that you never will.  I'd spend all my money, all of my time, I'd give you everything I had, everything to you.  And you dare ask one more thing of me, as if it was the only thing you had asked for.  Maybe you never asked for much.  Maybe I just kept giving and giving and all you did was take.  I can't really imagine a time where you performed a selfless action that ever in anyway benefited me.  Yet I'd risk my future on making you happy, and all you did was use me.  That's apparently all I'm good for, by the way.  Getting used by other people.  You're not the first, and I had previously thought you wouldn't be the last, but now thanks to you, thanks to fucking you, I'm probably going to withdraw again.  I honestly wish I could do unto you the same pain and misery that I've gone through, but I know that nothing I can do will make you feel the same since you don't give a shit.

Unfortunately, you don't know this exists.  And you want me to not hate you.  I know I don't, but it's much easier to say that I hate you than anything else. 

I've typed so much into this box, but I always tend to close the window before it's posted.  It makes me feel better.